my notes.

what life has taught me.

World, just what I want to see..

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I was watching Nat Geo Adventure channel. I was amazed by a program called DEPARTURES.
It’s about two young guys who are travelling around the world.
And this time, they visit Papua New Guinea.

It’s a beautiful country.
I love it.
I never been there before, except the border, between Papua and PNG.
I only can see the view from the border, up the hill. I can see its beach! Oh man, it’s so beautiful.
I wish I can go to that country.

But then I felt so sad by watching this program. I was amazed, but felt sad in the same time.

I envy the two guys in the program. They have chances to travel around the world, just because of that program.

Meanwhile me?
Hmm, I felt so sad. I always want to go abroad, work there, and become the citizen of the world. I mean, actually I have many chances to experience those kind of things, but somehow I blew it.

One of the guy said that with what he had now, it’s enough for him to see the world. I wish I have the same ideas like him, because there are always things that comes up in my mind and it makes me give up on my dreams to travel around the world.

I remembered that I had a chance to live in UK, but since I couldn’t stand to live with my grandpa, so I just stayed there for a while, and then I chose to go back to Jakarta, instead of surviving there.

In 2010,  I had a chance to work in Hong Kong and Timor Leste, but I didn’t sure that it’s a right decision for me at that time, because I wanted to take my master degree and also I was in a r.ship with someone that I thought it’ll be worked out.

I guess the universe could feel my doubtness, and I just couldn’t have it all in my life, so I did get a new and great job, I could take my master degree and I was still in r.ship with him, but then I had to give up on that opportunity. And the r.ship itself is over later on. Nothing is eternal, rite? 😀

Now, in 2012, I had a chance to work in Timor Leste again. I knew it’s a great opportunity for me, so I was doing my best for it. But then, the doubtness came again. I was afraid to let go everything I had now. I guess I’m in my comfort zone again. And like before, I failed to go there again.

It doesn’t mean I regret what I have now, it just I’m not going to ruin another opportunity.

Well, I still got a job offer from UN, to work in Vanuatu. I don’t know what the result is, I just hope that God will give me another opportunity to work abroad and I will be able to let go everything I have now. To leave my comfort zone.

I just want to go out, see the world, … while I can.

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Author: bettsi

I am who I am for a reason.

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